Coping with a Narcissistic Medical Colleague

Aashi Arora 14 Mar 2025

Healthy self-esteem is vital for psychological resilience. Physicians and others in the medical field, who work under high pressure situations where their expertise and decision-making can literally be a matter of life and death, tend to exhibit high self- esteem, perhaps because they are expected to project confidence. For some, though, this outward show may not be a sign of true resilience and self-confidence, but instead a warning signal of narcissism.

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and a belief in their own superiority coupled with a need for admiration and a preoccupation with what others think of them. Though they may come off as self-assured, in reality their self-esteem is quite fragile, and they react badly to being questioned or challenged. Fortunately, research has shown that narcissism is less common among medical professionals than in the general population, but you still may encounter and struggle with how to deal with narcissistic colleagues.

The way narcissists behave and respond to threats to their ego can be especially damaging in a medical setting. Caring for patients, especially those with complex medical conditions, means navigating uncertainty on a regular basis. Someone who won’t seek a second opinion or be willing to change a course of treatment (i.e., admit they were wrong) may compromise the quality of care they give to patients. Research shows that narcissism also has a negative effect on organizational performance, resulting in poorer coordination and performance in teams with high narcissism.

Narcissistic colleagues can be bullies, creating a hostile work environment and shoring up their own fragile ego at the expense of yours. Effectively dealing with one entails both taking the right professional steps to report the behavior and supporting your own emotional well-being with strengths-based coaching strategies.

What to Do When Your Colleague Is a Narcissistic Bully

Effectively dealing with a narcissistic colleague in the medical field can be extremely difficult. These individuals may justify harsh criticism and a quick temper as necessary to hold those around them to high standards. Their bullying may also consist of actions that taken individually can seem minor—sarcastic comments, backhanded “jokes,” or ongoing nitpicking—but that taken as a whole form a pattern of abuse.

Dealing With Narcissist at Work

Concrete steps you can take if you are being bullied by a narcissistic colleague include:

• Avoiding or minimizing contact with them, to the extent possible
• Documenting all interactions with the bully, including conversations, emails, minutes from meetings, etc.
• Seeking support from sympathetic colleagues and other victims
• Enlisting help from an outside physician, psychologist, or psychiatrist to advocate for you if you initiate a formal complaint
• Relying only on facts when making a complaint
• Informing medicolegal representatives immediately if patient safety is an issue

You should not vent on social media about the bullying, as this can be seen as defamatory and can allow the bully to portray themselves as a victim of a jealous or hysterical colleague. And it is of primary importance not to lose your temper or get defensive when the narcissist denies the complaints or lashes out at you, as they almost certainly will.

Protecting Your Emotional Resilience in the Face of Narcissistic Bullying

The second component of dealing effectively with a narcissist focuses on your response to their behavior. After all, what they do is outside of your control and is not truly about your worth or effectiveness as a medical professional. Knowing that their behavior stems from their internal problems and ultimately can’t be fixed by what you do can help you distance yourself from the situation emotionally and respond strategically instead.

When you shift your mindset in this fashion, it becomes easier to work on strategies that are within your control to protect your own mental space. This can include setting boundaries and clear rules for interactions with that colleague to prioritize your well-being and help you keep your conduct professional and detached from their drama.

Navigating Workplace Challenges with iRISE Executive Coaching

Narcissistic bullying can have you doubting your own competence, dreading each day in a career you formerly loved, and feeling helpless to change things. At iRISE Executive Coaching, we can help you develop a resilient mindset and effective strategies to overcome workplace challenges such as these. If what you’ve tried so far isn’t working, contact us here to schedule your consultation today.