How to tell someone they need an executive coach

Aashi Arora 14 Dec 2024

Key Points:

Addressing the need for executive coaching requires sensitivity and strategic communication. Key considerations include:

1. Identify Underlying Challenges: Observe signs such as career dissatisfaction, communication difficulties, or lack of confidence in setting boundaries. These indicators suggest that an individual may benefit from executive coaching.
2. Engage in Deep Listening: Initiate conversations to uncover the root causes of their challenges. Ask probing questions, listen actively, and reflect their responses to ensure they feel heard and understood.
3. Explore Previous Solutions: Discuss the strategies they’ve already attempted to address their issues. Understanding past efforts helps in identifying gaps and reinforces the need for a new approach.
4. Introduce Coaching as a Resource: Suggest executive coaching as a non-judgmental, confidential avenue for personal and professional development. Emphasize that it begins with a simple conversation and doesn’t require a long-term commitment.
5. Share Personal Experiences: If appropriate, relate your own positive experiences with coaching to illustrate its benefits and reduce any associated stigma.

Approaching the topic with empathy and a focus on growth can encourage openness to executive coaching as a valuable tool for development.

Main Article:

C-Suite Leaders: Are you trying to help someone you are working with who might be struggling with these emotional challenges?

• Are they miserable in their career and often complain about it?
• Do they struggle with effective communication with multiple co-workers and/or subordinates?
• Do they lack confidence in setting boundaries or being vocal about their needs?

Then keep reading…

My Story, My Moment of Truth in The Gift Of Executive Coaching

My career has spanned over 25 years. There have been many triumphs as well as many challenges, and lots of conversations – even very difficult ones. One of the most difficult conversations I have had turned out to be a gift of a lifetime.

It occurred when the Dean of a medical school I worked for said to me “Aashi you need a coach and we have identified the perfect one for you.”

I had been running a tumultuous department that had been undergoing dramatic change with a constant need for more faculty, staff, and resources. I was not only the Chief Administrative Officer but was also balancing several roles of mentor, coach, teacher, and friend to many faculty struggling to stay satisfied in their work. I was putting in enormous hours to keep the department balanced and progressing forward, a pattern I had engaged in for years in a variety of leadership roles. What I did not realize was that I was on a hamster wheel – day in and day out slogging through work while not paying attention to the aspects of my well-being.

The Gallup organization defines well-being as a representation of “how someone’s life is going.” What encompasses quality of life includes the 5 components as demonstrated below, all of which can be measured.

Think of all the balls you may have up in the air that you are constantly juggling. Each of those balls can be categorized in the 5 aspects of well-being as listed above – career, social, financial, physical, and community.

Going back to my story, as I spent time trying to balance my workplace, other balls in my life were coming crashing down. I went through a short period where my daughter ended up in the ICU and my father had a stroke. All of the years of me not prioritizing my well-being had culminated into a series of events where I was not showing up as the best leader I could be. And the Dean saw this and gave me the special gift of coaching.

Some need or want an executive coach for some of these reasons:

• Sounding board – a non-judgemental, trusted advisor to release anything and everything to
• Conflict resolution – having a partner to identify various ideas
• Problem solving – guidance from an experienced leader
• Job promotion –  enhancing executive presence
• Leadership skills – learning from blind spots and appending new knowledge

But professionals seeking coaching for these reasons are not often the ones who are resisting coaching. They are generally more willing to discuss coaching as an option to work through their challenges. They are often much more open to seeing it from the lens of development and growth and have enough self-awareness to understand its benefits.

What about those who lack self-awareness? Or:

• Whose workplace behavior is spiraling out of control?
• Who feel that they are in a mode of surviving rather than thriving?
• Who do not see how negatively they are impacting others around them?
• Who are unapproachable?

The key is pain identification. If you are trying to tell someone they need a coach, the first step is to identify what is hurting them the most – in their professional or personal life. What they are telling you on the surface is unlikely the real pain – go deeper by asking, actively listening, and relaying back to them at various points what you are hearing.

The second step is to ask them what they have done to try to work through the pain? Listen to all they may be saying about what may have seemed to work and what hasn’t. Ask one of the most powerful questions of all: What have you not tried?

And then, it’s your chance to bring up coaching. Add it as an avenue to give them further insight. And there’s no long-term commitment to it. It starts with a conversation with an unbiased, non-judgemental professional who can give you more tools to work through your challenges.

The Dean in my story recognized my pain point. He saw that the way I was showing up at work was not who I truly am. He saw that I was not working to my potential and recognized that circumstances in my personal life were clouding my ability to be the most effective leader. And he spoke to me with boldness, as well as empathy and compassion. And I am forever grateful that he did. I went on to not only get coaching and learn to prioritize my well-being, but I also created a business to guide other professionals in doing the same.

And I can do the same for you. Please feel free to contact me HERE.