Traumatized by negative feedback?

Aashi Arora 19 Nov 2024

Learn How to Bounce Back

Have you recently received negative feedback that has left you:

1. Unhinged
2. Upset and frustrated
3. Questioning where you work

Then keep reading…

Client Case: Background Information

I once had a client who was an academic physician leader on her way to becoming a Chief in her clinical section. She was a mid-career professional up for an academic promotion as well from Assistant to the Associate Professor level. All the while, she was also excelling in clinical, teaching, and some research work. She was a well known specialist in her field and had a strong brand as a trusted expert on a national scale due to her numerous academic accomplishments. She was the heir apparent for the section chief role in her department and had been working in a variety of leadership roles to gain the necessary experience to advance to the higher role.

In California	My Client	My Client’s Promotion Aspirations	My Client’s Boss
Job Title	Associate Chief	Division Chief	Department Chair
Reporting Lines	The Associate Chief reports to the Division Chief	The Division Chief reports to the Department Chair	The Department Chair reports to the Dean of the Medical School
Background Information	Specialized trainees report to this person as well as research personnel	Usually faculty report up to the person so depends on the size of the department but for this case about 20 faculty – Assistant Professor, Associate Professor, and Professor roles report up to the person; the budget size is $15 million	6 divisions reporting to the Department Chair with a faculty of about 250; budget size of $125 million
Scope Of Responsibilities	Support to the Chief in the delivery of their duties, specific duties in fellowship program management as well as research programs under the scope of the Associate Chief	Delivery of academic programs in accordance with departmental and health system strategic plans, hiring and evaluation of division personnel including faculty and staff, budget and resource management, division leadership curriculum and operations across all 3 missions – teaching, clinical, and research administration	Creation of the Department Strategic Plan and management of all department finance and operations

The Trauma of Being Told You Are Not Liked!

All seemed to be going well in her career until one day her boss the Department Chair came to her and said that there had been a series of complaints about her behavior. Nurses and technicians were afraid of her and had filed grievances about their interactions with her. Her initial reaction was to defend herself against the allegations as seen here:

Complaint From Employees	My Client’s Defense
Comes across bossy	I have to – patient care is at stake often
Yells at me	Untrue – the person is being too sensitive
Makes me feel stupid	It’s not my problem they are incompetent

The boss appeared to side with the complainants. She stated that there was a pattern of this behavior and that nothing had changed from the previous discussions on the matter. This time, as in times past, her defending comments remained the same. 

The challenge was that this time, the stakes were higher. The boss eluded that:

• The aspiration to be Division Chief is now at risk
• Academic promotion to Associate Professor is now at risk
• Professional standing with the hospital medical staff appointment is absolutely under scrutiny

The Devastating Feeling of Not Getting Your Promotion

My client was devastated. In the past when she received feedback she was able to suppress it or compartmentalize it. But not this time. This news had become debilitating. By the time she came to speak to me, I saw the signs of what I call workplace trauma.

These were her symptoms:

• Difficulty in concentration
• Disengagement in meetings
• Difficulty in sleeping
• Mistrust of boss 
• Fear of speaking with and interacting with nurses and technologists
• Not volunteering to take on additional projects

From Feeling Low To Taking Back Control

She came to me during what felt like the lowest point in her career. We started with getting her to feel a sense of control. We began with this question:

What do you want to get from your situation knowing you can’t go in the past and undo the feedback given?

Therapy vs Strengths Coaching

Right or wrong, people feel what they feel. I was not as interested in the ‘why’ – why was she feeling the way she was? That question may best be answered through therapy. Coaching addresses the ‘what’ – we come to a place of understanding what has occurred and answered what are you going to do about it?

3 BIG choices:

1. Quit her job
2. Fight the feedback
3. Accept the feedback and learn and grow

In assessing these 3 choices, and starting with a sense of empowerment that she did have the ability to choose, her initial reaction was to start with #2. As we explored further into the concerns raised, she moved on to #3. As she developed awareness through our work together, clarity ensued around her wanting to be perceived as an effective leader creating an environment of efficiency, high quality, and safety. To grow as a stronger leader, she identified behaviors she could START, STOP, and CONTINUE:

Start, Stop, Continue Framework – examples

START	Emotional regulation techniques when upset
STOP	Condescending language
CONTINUE	Relationship building with the team

Final Outcome From Strengths Coaching

Fast forward, it was a happy ending with my client getting the Division Chief role she had been working hard towards, advancing to Associate Professor, and best of all, teaching others all that she had learning during her coaching program.

To learn more about how coaching can work for you, contact us HERE.